he Number of Singles Reaches an All – time High
In 2017, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that the number of unmarried adults reached a historical record. More than 110 million U.S. residents were divorced, widowed, or single, accounting for over 45% of the U.S. population aged 18 and above. People are also getting married at a later age. The median age of first marriage for men rose to 29.5 years old, and for women, it reached 27.4 years old.
Living alone has also become increasingly popular. Last summer, Canadian media reported that, for the first time in Canadian history, the number of people living alone exceeded the number of those in all other living arrangements.
The celibacy reflected in living alone is not just a Western trend but a global phenomenon. Psychologists Henri C. Santos and his colleagues analyzed data from 78 countries over half a century (1960 – 2011) and found that in 83% of the countries, this behavior had increased significantly. Some ideas derived from celibacy, such as valuing friends more than family, also became more popular: over the past five decades, these ideas had increased significantly in 79% of the countries.
Marriage Is No Longer Considered a Mark of Adulthood
Half a century ago in the United States, people who were not married were not considered true adults. However, in recent years, people’s views have changed.
According to a 2017 report by the U.S. Census Bureau, in a national sample survey, over half of the people (55%) believed that marriage was no longer a key criterion for judging whether a person was an adult. The same proportion of people said that having a child was not a crucial milestone in adulthood.
Now, people place more emphasis on completing formal education and finding a full – time job. 95% of people think that at least one of these two criteria is fairly important or very important.
Middle School Students’ Interest in Dating and Sex Is Declining
In a study published last fall, psychologists Jean M. Twenge and Heejung Park analyzed four – decade (1976 – 2016) data on the sexual and dating experiences of more than 8 million students in grades 9 to 12 (roughly equivalent to junior 3 to senior 3 in China). In the last few years of the study data, the percentages of teenagers who had dating experiences and those with sexual experience reached an all – time low.
Singles Have a More Active Sex Life Than Married People
Surprisingly!
Not only are teenagers less interested in dating, but adults are also having less sex than in the past. By analyzing data from more than 26,000 Americans from 1989 to 2014, researchers found that the average number of sexual encounters per year today is only one – ninth of that in the early 1990s.
Married or divorced people are mainly responsible for pulling down this data. That is, in a sense, singles now have a more active sex life than married people.
One significant change in people’s sexual attitudes over the years is the growing recognition of the asexual community. By 2017, there had been a number of studies on asexuality, including large – scale surveys. In a review in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, authors Lori A. Brotto and Morag Yule concluded that asexuality is a distinct sexual orientation, not a sexual or mental disorder, and the proportion of asexual adults is approximately 3%.
Intimate Relationships Don’t Necessarily Boost Self – esteem
Intuitively, we think that an intimate relationship can make people feel good – if someone often praises you and expresses love to you, you will surely like yourself more, right?
Not really.
Psychologists Eva C. Luciano and Ulrich Orth analyzed more than 9,000 German adults, some of whom started or ended a romantic relationship, and some remained single. They concluded:
“Starting a relationship only boosts self – esteem if and only if the relationship functions well, is stable, and lasts for a certain period (according to current research, this period is more than one year).” In fact, those who started a relationship but ended it within a year had a lower self – esteem level than those who remained single.
So, having a bad relationship is worse than staying single. Singles don’t lose anything.
Marriage is not magical either. The self – esteem level of married people is not higher than that of those in a romantic relationship but not married.
Married People Aren’t Necessarily Healthier
One of the superstitions about marriage is that people’s health improves after getting married, and this view has long been supported by social scientists. Logically, after all, couples can get love and support from each other, and they also care for and take care of their partners.
However, three studies published in 2017 overturned this view.
In the first study, the author Randa Kutob and colleagues tracked over 79,000 American women aged 50 to 79 for three years, recording whether they got married (or started a serious relationship), remained married, got divorced or broke up, or stayed single. They also regularly measured various physiological indicators of these women and asked about their habits in smoking, drinking, exercise, and diet.
The researchers found that single women fared better than married ones, and divorced women did better than those who remained married. For example, compared with single women, married women gained more weight and drank more; divorced women ate healthier, exercised more, and had a smaller waist circumference than married women. (The only exception was that divorced women were more likely to start smoking than married women.)
Two other large – scale surveys also reached similar conclusions. Overall, even considering age factors, people’s health after marriage is not better than when they are single.
What do these studies tell us?
Bella DePaulo summarized:
The idea that “marriage is the ideal way of life” has been strongly challenged. For a long time, we thought that singles had no sex life, were unhappy, and would end up alone (and die earlier) unless they got married quickly. But today, it may not be so easy to scare singles. The number of singles has reached an all – time high, and they are often healthier and more satisfied than married people.
It can be said that the change in the living conditions of singles and the change in people’s attitudes promote each other: the more inclusive society is of different lifestyles, the easier it is for singles to feel happy; and as the number of singles increases, more people will realize that being single is not a tragic “leftover” situation but a free choice.
More importantly, now, strong scientific evidence is on the side of singles.
Source：The Cut, 6 New Things Researchers Learned About Single People in 2017
Author：Bella DePaulo
