My dad often complains:
“Why do you never call me? Occasionally, when I answer your call, I just want to chat with you and show my concern. But the first thing you say is, ‘Where’s mom? Why can’t I get through to her?’”
Although I’ve repeatedly promised to keep in touch, each call still ends hastily.
The movie Everybody’s Fine that I want to share with you today is a story triggered by not frequently calling one’s father.
An Old Man’s Journey
The elderly Frank was once a worker who put protective layers on wires.
After his wife passed away eight months ago, he had been living alone. One day, Frank was excitedly preparing for a weekend family gathering. However, his children left phone messages one by one, saying they couldn’t come home due to various matters. The huge sense of loss made him miss his children even more.
Frank thought that when his wife was alive, she had always maintained good communication with the children, and they would tell her everything. But now the situation was quite different.
So, despite the doctor’s dissuasion, he took his medicine and set off on a journey to visit his children.
Along the way, he proudly introduced his four children and his job to everyone he met. He was proud that a wire – wrapping worker like him had such promising children.
Frank proudly said to the people on the train, “Hundreds of thousands of meters of wires have contributed to what they are today.”
The First Stop: New York
Frank’s first stop was New York, his eldest son David’s home.
He waited at the building entrance all night, ringing the doorbell and making calls, but no one answered.
When leaving, he suddenly saw David’s paintings in an art gallery on the street.
He remembered a conversation with David when he was a child:
- “I want to be a painter and create the paintings I like.”
- “Not a painter. Painters paint on walls, and dogs pee on those walls. You should be an artist. Will you make me proud of you?”
- “I’ll try, dad.”
Until the next morning, David was still nowhere to be seen. The father slipped a letter through the door crack, telling his son that he had wanted to create a surprise, but there was no one at home, and they would contact each other later by phone.
Then Frank set off for the second stop, his eldest daughter’s family who lived in Chicago.
On the way, the film interspersed with the voices of Frank’s children talking to each other. From these conversation snippets, we could seem to learn that the eldest son David had an accident and was arrested in Mexico, and the children didn’t plan to tell Frank.
The Second Stop: Chicago
The eldest daughter Amy was both surprised and delighted by her father’s arrival. She didn’t expect that none of her siblings would come home on the weekend.
When Amy was asked when her husband would be back, she said in a fluster, “Oh, right. I’ll call him to see when he’ll be back.”
At dinner, there was a lot of hostility in the interaction between Amy’s son and her husband, and the couple was also very awkward.
Frank asked if he could stay at his daughter’s place for a day or two, but was politely declined. Amy said that her company had a big project to deal with, and her husband and child were not at home, so she really had no time to take care of her father.
Frank could only reluctantly agree and told his eldest daughter that he would go to find his second son Robert next, specifically asking her not to inform him.
As Frank was on his journey, the voices of the children’s conversation came up again. Amy told Robert about their elder brother David’s situation and that their father was coming to see him.
The Third Stop: Denver
After saying goodbye to his eldest daughter’s family, Frank came to the band where his second son Robert worked in Denver. He proudly pointed at the conductor on the poster, who he thought was his son, and asked a passer – by to take a photo of him.
However, the son he thought was the conductor was just an insignificant drummer.
He thought his son was very talented, and it was a pity that he was just a drummer. But his son confessed that he was living a good life now, and this was the life he wanted.
With less pressure, being able to travel, making money from it, having no burden, and occasionally being able to practice conducting…
When the father asked if he could stay with his son for two or three days, the son told him that the band would fly to Europe that night and they had to pack their luggage in the afternoon.
Due to the time – zone difference, Frank’s watch didn’t adjust the time in time, and he missed the train that had left an hour ago. He could only stay at a nearby hotel for the night.
When passing through the subway aisle, he saw a young man about his son’s age lying on the ground, shivering. He gave him money to buy food.
The young man not only didn’t thank him but also tried to snatch his wallet. During the scuffle, Frank’s medicine bottle fell to the ground.
The enraged young man, to take revenge, ignored Frank’s desperate pleas, stepped directly on the medicine bottle, crushed every pill, and then ran away.
Without any spare medicine, Frank had to collect the powder on the ground in his pocket.
At night, he carefully picked out the clothing fibers from the medicine residue and drank it, even licking the powder on his palm clean.
The Fourth Stop: Las Vegas
The fourth stop was Frank’s youngest daughter’s home in Las Vegas. The youngest daughter seemed to be the one who was most looking forward to her father’s arrival.
She learned the news of her father’s coming early, rented a cool convertible to pick him up, and prepared a big bedroom for him.
When they were about to go to the 80 – floor revolving restaurant for dinner, a female neighbor had something to go out and asked them to take care of her child.
It was originally said that the child would be picked up before evening, but due to the delay, the child had to stay overnight.
While Rosie was taking care of the child, Frank accidentally heard the answering – machine message in the study. He found out that his daughter’s big house was borrowed from a friend specifically to welcome him.
Frank seemed to realize that he had caused his daughter a lot of trouble.
That night, they made dinner together at home. Rosie frankly but tactfully explained to her father why the children had not been in much contact with him:
Frank was eager for his children to succeed, always boasting about his efforts and expectations to them. But their deceased mother was good at listening and understanding.
At the dinner table, Frank said that he had been out for too long and his medicine was running out, so he would go back the next day.
However, the plane he was taking encountered a thunderstorm. Without taking enough medicine and with the bumpy flight, Frank had a heart attack.
While in a coma, Frank had a dream. He dreamed that his children were all like they were when they were young, sitting together and telling their father that they were doing well.
In fact, during his journey, Frank had already discovered that the “I’m fine” from his children was a lie. He just saw through it but didn’t say it.
The eldest daughter Amy’s marriage was not as happy as it seemed on the surface. Frank noticed that Amy’s husband was wearing the same clothes as yesterday when he went to work in the morning. He no longer lived in his daughter’s house and was just called back to act for Frank that day.
The male colleague of his daughter that he met at the train station was actually her current partner. His daughter was afraid that he was not in good health, so she deliberately arranged this “chance encounter” for them to meet.
In Denver, there were posters of the band’s performances all over the city, and the performance locations were clearly local. There was no so – called European tour as his son had said.
Even his youngest daughter Rosie, who had the best relationship with him, had something to hide. The baby they were “taking care of” was actually hers, and the female neighbor was actually her lover.
Frank couldn’t figure out why, despite so many situations and troubles in their lives, his children didn’t tell him.
After waking up in the hospital, he found all his children around the hospital bed, but there was still no sign of his son David.
Now, he just wanted to know what had happened to David and asked them not to deceive him anymore.
The children told him that David had died in Mexico due to a drug overdose.
He didn’t want to believe it. The children told him that he had always been too strict, and they were afraid of disappointing their father, so they didn’t dare to tell him anything. Especially David, who had the highest expectations from his father and bore the most pressure.
At night, on the hospital bed, Frank finally saw David, who was still a little boy, in his dream.
At this moment, he told David that no matter what he did, he was proud of him.
After being discharged from the hospital, Frank came to his wife’s tombstone and told her the story of his journey.
He faced up to the communication problems between him and his children, realized that he had been too self – centered in educating his children, and finally reconciled with his children and himself.
Returning to New York again, Frank wanted to buy David’s painting.
But the painting had been sold. The clerk, realizing that he was David’s father, found a painting in stock and gave it to him. And the content of this painting was exactly the wires with protective layers, the job that his father had been proud of all his life.
The next Christmas, Frank came to the supermarket for shopping early again. This time, no one stood him up, and the whole family really got together. Everyone was doing well.
Reflection on Family and Expectations
In this family, it was the mother who had emotional communication with the children. She would truly listen to their voices, encourage them to become what they wanted to be, and do what they liked.
However, the father, Frank, was a bit like an outsider. His image seemed strict and correct, leading the whole family, but in fact, he had never really participated and didn’t know what was really happening in everyone’s life.
Frank worked hard, wanting to give the best to his children and hoping that they would become the best. This was his way of loving, but was it really good for the children?
After his wife passed away, the communication bridge no longer existed. He knew nothing about his children’s recent situations and finally started to feel something was wrong. Behind the children’s habitual concealment was their fear of not meeting their father’s expectations.
Fortunately, Frank finally realized at the end that children shouldn’t live to meet his expectations. They all had their own lives.
It’s okay not to be an artist but be a painter. A marriage doesn’t have to be perfect. Being a small drummer in a band is also good. Liking the same sex is not a big deal. Everything is the children’s own choice.
Frank finally realized: “As long as they are happy, that’s fine.”
In Frank’s dream, he asked his children, “What should I tell your mother?”
The children said, “Tell her that we’re all fine!”
I wonder if you’ve seen this movie. Has it inspired any thoughts or resonances in you?
